There's something about scarves and caps and fallen leaves that remind me of those years. I think it has to do with the smell of propane.
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Tis the season is right. What is it about heartbreak around this time? It's all around - or so it seems.
That's a funny thing, or at least as funny as it can be. Broken hearts sure are a bad hand to be dealt. It reminds us of our humanity probably more than any physical injury. The crippling effect that it can have on a life. Nothing brings you to your knees harder or faster.
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I'm in a phase of moving forward. Not to say I'm giving up hope, but I'm stepping to the side because it's what I...what we need to do. It's a phase that I'd rather be nowhere near but I am. In doing so I'm rewriting some of my songs. I have songs that I love - but I can't love them at this time. Most of the songs I write have something from my life that is true but then there's a piece of fiction as well. And to play these fictional parts with the autobiographical parts makes it difficult to play these songs. Because as beautiful as they are, I cannot sing the parts that aren't true.
The situation deserves better I suppose. It should be written as it is because it is beautiful and to belittle it is an injustice.
So that's one thing I'm working on. Making some of them fit my current state a little more.
I'm also trying to find things that are mine. I'm trying to avoid music and films that were ours or have some memory in my mind.
I'm listening to Johnny Cash. It's raw and inspiring.
I've missed photography lately. I see how beautiful it is to capture something in that one moment. I wish I had captured more moments that are gone and I don't want to miss anymore.
I'm in a phase of moving forward.
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Friday I am going home. I need a recharge - my batteries have been dead for weeks.
