What Are You Looking For?

This post is being done as a request. And comments are necessary for it to serve it's purpose.

There seems to be a strong pattern forming wherein college students and young adults are leaving the church. Maybe it's just that they finally have the freedom to do what they want and that includes skipping out on church.

But I think it's deeper than that - that they aren't finding what they hope to there. I think so because I have felt that myself.

I've also seen young adult/college ministry after another fall to the wayside because no one showed up. 

So what is it that we want? What do we truly desire for and from the church? What is missing, what is wrong? What are we looking for? What are YOU looking for?

I invite comments by the plenty here as it is not just for my amusement but will be looked at and considered.

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Here are some guidelines for commenting to follow:

* Do NOT name churches, ministries, or people. We are not looking to cut anything down.

* Do NOT be negative. Sure, you can show your frustrations but don't be a jerk.

* This isn't to start arguments. The goal is to learn what is needed to reengage this group.

If you wish to remain anonymous, you can do so by posting on the original post. Just choose "name/url" and choose an alias to maintain for this post - just in case you decide to make multiple posts.

Also, comments from facebook will be re-posted to the original post and vice versa to keep it all together.

Wipe Off The Blood and Pick Out The Rocks.

Last night I was standing, listening to Calexico and I drifted into space. I was there but not quite paying attention. I thought of scars and how many I have at my age.

Scars are really an interesting reminder of a fascinating ability that our bodies have. But they also remind us of the wounds and pain we've felt in our past.

I remember most of the causes of my scars. The scars on my lip are probably the root cause of my strong disliking for dogs. The long scar on my right upper arm is from the summer that I did construction with some friends. The three small scars on my right forearm are from my sister's incredibly dangerous fingernails from our childhood years.

There are the countless scars on my knees from bicycle wrecks and scars on my right hand from who knows what. And when I go up stairs or jump my left knee pops. And not that it's a scar, but it reminds me of this past summer and what it was to me.

The scar on my chin will always remind me of someone from my past. I remember her coming to the hospital to see me. I knew that she was worried even though it wasn't all that serious, granted my twisting around on the ground probably looked pretty bad. Regardless of why, it reminds me of my time with her, long ago.

But there aren't just physical scars - there are emotional scars. And I think that this type lasts longer. It's the harm we do to people that pierces more than just flesh that sticks. Intentional or not, it scraps our soul and leaves us feeling abandoned, alone, weak, unwanted, or undeserving. And you can't just stand up and brush that off - Neosporin doesn't absorb that deep. The only way to heal those wounds is to let nature and time take it's course.

My only concern is that when those wounds heal, do they leave scar tissue? Does it leave you numb to pain and unable or unwilling to reconnect to people? to trust them? I suppose they do. Imagine putting all of yourself into something - someone - and to then have it mean nothing. Five months ago it was my life and now there's barely a trace...just a faint scent in the breeze that I can almost put my finger on, but it's gone before I can.

It's like falling off of a bike, I suppose...

Lost At Sea.

I wrote this:

You flew off in the morning
You said you'd come back for me
But I lost you somewhere over the sea

Everyone keeps telling me
How I should move on
But there's nowhere else that I belong

I begged her not to go
She said it wouldn't take long
But now the weeks turn one by one


The newspaper read "Three found dead"
One the pilot, two was you, and three is me


now that you're gone
it might as well be me
who's out there drifting, lost at sea

Not Enough.

This is a reworked version of a song I wrote a year or so ago.

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I remember walking down that road
Holding hands in winter's cold
And dancing at the sight of snow
You held me tight like it was your life
Or maybe the temperature was too low, I don't know
But you were frozen to my coat

Don't you remember laying on your floor
Hardly touching for summer's torch, when you
rolled on me and said:
Why don't you kiss me like you did back when
I was fifteen and we had just began?
Oh it was something from a magazine

There were times that we hid our love
Times it shone like the moon above
And there were days it would outshine the sun
Then you told me that you had to go
You tried to explain, guess I still don't know
Something about missing your boat


I've been lonely since you left my side
But it will pass like your boat in the tide
With time you will fade from my mind
And someday I'll find mine

Now all that I've got are the memories we shared
But that's not enough - No, they don't compare
To your lips on mine or my hands thru your hair
No, that's not enough - I wish you were here


Will you think of me?
When it's late and you can't sleep?
Cos I'll be awake, dreaming of you

-Alexander Skidmore.

Is God In Control?

It's election night and Obama has been declared the winner due to the overwhelming results that have come in so far.

I will start by saying that I voted for McCain and I'm not ashamed to say that. Yes, I voted based on my moral stance as I believe that to be an important view to take as a Christian. Looking at situations in the Bible, it is easy to see that the first thing to go the window whenever the Israelites turned away from God were their morals. And for that reason, I can't understand putting those moral issues aside while voting for the leader of our country.

More importantly - I think everyone needs to realize that it is our right as Americans to vote for what we as INDIVIDUALS support and believe - whether it be a particular health care plan or your stance on gay marriage.

Also - my moral issues where not the only issue I looked at. I disagree with Obama's health care plan and as a member of a middle class white American family I am concerned by his tax ideas.

So McCain was the better man for the job, in my opinion. You are allowed to have your own - Just as I am.

Well to get to my point, first I want to say that - while I am disappointed that Obama won - I hope he does a good job. I hope he rises to the occasion and leads this country to a better place in our own existence and in foreign affairs. I do not know - nor does anyone else - how the next four years will go. We have our ideas that are based on what we've seen in his past - but we do not know what will actually happen.

As for the main point, here it is. Is God in control? I mean, yes I believe that He is in control of all things. but that doesn't mean He is sitting around with strings and pulling things into existence. Sometimes His control is sitting by and letting us do what we want. Look at how many times the Israelites strayed from his plan! So am I to think that no matter who we as a nation choose as our leader, God will take care of us? I don't believe that because I believe in the free will that we are given as humans to do what we want without the interference of God. He has no responsibility to watch out for us - especially if we do not follow His will.

I do not believe that everything that happens is part of God's plan. I do believe that God can turn anything around for His glory. But your dog getting hit by a car isn't part of God's plan. Get my point?

I am not saying that voting for Obama goes against God's will. I don't know His will. God is not a Republican or a Democrat.

So for God to be in control - we as his church, as his bride, must pray for His guidance; for Him to guide our leaders to do what is right. And even if our leaders do not follow God's plan - We must follow it in our own lives. The kingdom of man has no jurisdiction in the Kingdom of Heaven. which is more important to you?


oh, and by the way - Obama is not the antichrist you crazies.

(But he's not the savior either.)

Where I Am?

Nothing could ring more true to how I feel tonight. I am nowhere near where I want to be. And nowhere seems to want me.

I suppose that it would look like this picture; a small town by the sea where I could sit and feel the cool ocean breeze and not have any kind of worry and nowhere to be, but where ever my feet take me.

But I feel that my feet are in concrete and everything is settling down - not a good settling mind you. But a settling nonetheless. At the same time it seems that everything is whizzing by me. I'm the boy who I once was, picking at grass in the outfield as fly balls are landing around me. I am missing things and people are starting to drop their heads. I guess I don't care much anymore.

I'm tired of failing classes and having no money. I'm tired - and frustrated - with myself; for not picking myself up and getting back in the game. All motivation - what little I had - to do something is becoming a small blur in the distance. Perhaps it's a mirage and was never really there at all.

If I had a chance to walk away from where I am right now, I would pick up my mat and walk. It's just that it's pretty hard to do that when you're breaking your own legs.