These Days.

I am actually quite surprised that I haven't used this title before. It is a reference to the song of the same name written by Jackson Browne and made famous by Nico and covered by artists such as St. Vincent, Denison Witmer, Elliott Smith, Mates of State, and more. I had nearly forgotten the beautiful song that was introduced to me by the even more beautiful scene in The Royal Tenenbaums until today. I was sitting outside at campus reading a book that should have been completed weeks ago in between classes.
The cold fall air was blowing on my face as I sat bundled up reading and listening to the songs of Denison Witmer when his cover of the song came into my ears.
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The scene from The Royal Tenenbaums has Gwenyth Paltrow's character getting off of a bus to meet her brother played by Luke Wilson. The whole movie has a theme of missed opportunities and the fear of lossing what little is left. Perhaps that is why it is one of my favorite films. Heartbreak speaks to me because it is such a human emotion. Everyone feels it and can identify with it - and if someone can't then they aren't alive.

I suppose that this song has always fit into my love for fall and the nostalgia that it brings along. I could talk forever about fall. As the leaves are falling and curling into themselves it reminds me of the things in life that do exactly the same. It feels like a time of losing and the realization of loss and the fear that engulfs one when they begin to wonder if they'll ever have something half as good as what they lost. It is a time for lonliness and questioning. Or so that is what I always thought of regarding fall. This year it has proven true - it has been more than feeling but a part of my life.

Today this song hit me when I felt it most. It was a moment that was lost as soon as I got up from my place on the ground; it doesn't translate here now - not to give it justice at least.

There are a few different lyrical versions, so this is a combination of my favorite verses. The first two lines of the last verse and different than the other version of the last verse. Both are beautiful and desperate but this one feels right for now.
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Well I've been out walking
I don't do too much talking these days, these days
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I've had the chance to

I've stopped my rambling
I don't do too much gambling these days, these days
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about my ways
And I wonder if I'll see another highway

And I had a lover
I don't think I'll risk another these days, these days
So if I seem to be afraid
To live the life that I have made in song
It's just that I've been losing so long

So I'll keep on moving
And things are bound to be improving these days, one of these days
These days I sit on cornerstones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten
Don't confront me with my failures
I have not forgotten them