Coming Down To Meet You.

So it all feels the same now. I guess that feeling I had a couple weeks ago was just the alcohol. I'm real washed out right now. I felt good about things. I went to Passion and I remembered a little about what God looked like and I learned a little more. I'm past that moment of gladness and back to selfishness. Time doesn't change a thing, it's all up to me and well maybe I just ain't ready. It's a sad place to be. I see that greener grass but I'm still eating the brown.

I've been lonely a bit. I've had some fun with friends that I've missed but it's not really the same. I miss the people who understand me. There's one that I really miss but we can't really talk anymore. Yeah, I miss her a lot but I don't think that's my fault. I think that's just how it goes sometime and it's a real shame but it's not my fault. And I've been wondering if I'll find that again cos it's been awhile and I'd have to say it's rare. Oh well, maybe it's for the best.

I shaved my head the other day and messed up and so now I got a big piece missing on the side and I've been wearing a hat everyday til that piece grows back. It's pretty funny but I look like schmuck. That's how I feel. Like I got a bad hair cut riding on my head and I do. Eventually the internal mess becomes external. Oh well, it's cold so I got an excuse for the hat. I'm just tired of feeling like a ten year old.

I haven't written for awhile and I got a lot in my head right now. And a lot of it doesn't matter but a lot of it is why I'm so down. I got a lot that ain't happening right now and a lot that is is kinda unfortunate. But that's okay cos it'll go away eventually and the sun does rise. That's what Chuck Noland said anyway. I just ain't felt the sun in sometime. That's not true, I just can't remember the warmth.