Listening To The Taunts & The Shouts of Celebration Wine.

Over the span of my life, I've experienced many late night conversations. Some are similar to others and some sit at the top of the list and shine. Falling asleep on the telephone that stretched hundreds of miles, laying in a field while holding hands to watch the sun rise before going to bed or sitting up passing a cigarette late into the night - whatever it is or has been, they've all contained that piece of life that can't be found anywhere else.

I've always loved having honest conversations with people. It's important to get to that level with each other - with people of different backgrounds, goals, paths, and agendas. It's lead me to form opinions that I'd have never gotten to on my own and to break down preconceived notions about people or ideas.

I don't think that I could stand to not share my heart and mind. It's one of the first things I measure a relationship by. It's what I count true friends by - those people who even thru disagreement don't reject but accept ideas that are not their own.

People come and people go - it's part of life. Sometimes the distances which separate are great whether by land or walls. Regardless, there are people who have fallen out of my path and it's fine by me because whatever brought us together is gone. Desires to maintain anything out of image or good feelings of old times are no more. I'm not sure of the point. It's not of bad feelings but a realization of differences and walls that prevent connection - or reconnection. I guess that I see a relationship built around broken glass and mazes of untouchable objects found in museums isn't worth my time.

But with the same breath I celebrate the relationships I have! Oh the laughs I've had in recent days with tears and beers flowing and the spilling of blood! How I would not trade them for an ounce of the past. I would not give up sitting in the third floor apartment balcony watching the black men play basketball as the moths dance around the light. We laugh and talk about girls and the dumb tricks we've done for them - just to bat their eyes in our direction. Of the places we wish to see and things to do. Of what boils our blood and makes our hair stand on end. True friends are these who I have found for we speak the same language. And for those of you who are lost to me, so be it.

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I look at my life now and I can't say that I'm pleased with where I'm at in every aspect. I can't say that I've done my best or tried my hardest in areas that matter - there's always room for improvement. But in others, I know I have. I am content. Perhaps I'm just floating right now, like a feather, or a dandelion seed blowing in the wind. I'll land when it's time and until then I'll abide and rejoice.