i've applied at 4 different places, and none feel like hiring me.
i've put homework off every time i've had it. i've told myself that i wouldn't do that anymore after each time. i'm doing that right now actually.
i'm still lazy, which i also told myself i would do no more.
i have written a few more songs. that's about the only thing i've done to make me feel valuable.
i have thought more about what i want to do. i've come up w/ some ideas but they are hard. i think they'd be worth it tho.
my english class really is good. the few people i've hung out w/ outside of classes are in that class. we talk a lot about current events and relate them to writing. it makes me think.
i am enjoying this. it seems all of my posts lately have been downers. it's just that i'm seeing how unsure of everything i am. but i'm seeing other things. i've grown since i've been here. i've been forced to wash dishes and clean and cook. being responsible for yourself is really something. it's not all cake either.
my biggest upset is being alone so much. and i don't really feel that i have people close by who can take that feeling away.
it's hard to explain.
i've seen what i really enjoyed, what i should have treasured. hearing about things back home is fun but it makes me miss it too.
i'm full of contridictions. i've always had the problem of seeing both sides and trying to even it out. then it all hits in the middle and a blah comes out.
okay, it's time to turn off the mewithoutyou, drive away from my secret location, and go study for biology. goodnight all.
and remember, it works both ways.
